Treat Time at the Parker Cat Ranch

Squeaky: It's not fair! Buttns and Gzmo and Meme won't let me get any treets! 

Not so bad after all

Miss Mimi hiding in the sink

Miss Mimi: She put me in the littel caj this morning and then wouldn't lissen when I wailed and cried. But when she opened the caj, I wasn't at home anymore (This isn't Kansas, Toto). So I was reelly careful about coming out. She was thare with me, though, with another person. As soon as that other one left, I came out and she told me it would be OK. And it was. Then the other came back in, but she was nise, too. I think they pinched me or something, but I couldn't see what it was. Somebuddy blokked my eyes, but then they tooked it off. I got back into the caj as kwick as I cood, and finally I was home again. Yay. I was so happy to be home. I reely was. Then the lady came with her human kittens. I had to go in the room with the big chare and wait. It was so skary. So much noise and so much running around like crazy things.

Wait, I think me and Gizmo and Squeeky run around like crazy things sometimes. Like every night. Hm. But we don't make so much noise when we do it. That's  the difference. I just like to run sidewayz across the arm of the green long chair thing. What, you cant run sidewayz? I bet you can. Try it sometime.

Typical evening at home

Well, where's mine?

Gizmo Le Grand: Hey, I heer something outside. I heer a dor. It's the front dor. No, it's a thing outside dor. Oh, it's the front dor now. She's home! Hey, Mimi,  Squeeky, she's home. Run, go to the dor. Hi! I'm glad your home. I want dinner. Mowowow. I want food. Now. No, no, this way. Food. Yes, that's rite. No, here. Ye! s, let me just tap the scooper thing and knock that food all over the floor. Darn. OK, it's in the bowl. Let me chek the bowl. Yup. Good, oh, wait, dropping food into next bole. Let me check. Ummm. Crunch crunch. Oh, wait, more food in the third bole. Let me check that one out. Nom. Nomnom. Hay, wait, come back heer. No, no, over heer insted. I want a treet now. Now. No, you cant eet first. I want treet now. Over heer, haay, ooover heeeeer. Yes, treet. No, you cant eet first. Need treeet now. Wait, I haf to clime up to top of tower first. Sleepy now. (nodding off).

Sweet Squeaky: Oh, your sitting in the treet chare now. I want one. I want a treet. See, I'm scratching the post. Give me a treet. Nom. Nom. Thank you!

Miss Mimi: Here I am. See, I can spell now. Give me a treet. I'm a good girl, remember? Treeeeet pleeeez. Yum, thanks!

Gizmo Le Grand: Hay, whatz going on down there? Where's my treet? Hay, don't forget me. I'm up here. OK, I'm coming down. Treet pleez?

Mimi in the Sink

Ms Mimi: She came home and I headed to the sink to hide. She looked at me, and I almost jumpz down, but then I thawt I wood just hide in the sink. I wuz sure I fooled her, but she got up and headed to the sink. Quick, I jumpz into the sink and hunkered down. But then she grabbd me and put me on the floor. Humph. Not very dignified at all. So I headz to the room with the giant soft chair. He was in there, but the door wuz shut. I cried, and what do you know? She came and letz me in. And she also did givez us treatz before that. I don't know if I tolj you, but I luvz treatz.

Gizmo Le Grand: I had to talk to her a lot to get those treatz, Mimi. Didnt you hear me? I said to her, "Hay, wherez our treatz?" (mowowow, mrrrr, mrble) and she said yes, I see you. Then I told her, "Hay, did you here me? We  want our treatz now." (moble, mrb, grmbl) She said yes, I know. But she still didn't get them. Then I said,

Ms Mimi: Gizmo, hush. We heard the hole thing.

Gizmo: Hay, whoz the alpha male cat around here anyhow?

Squeaky: Prrrr. She did give us treatz and we liked them. And she petted me and told me I am sweet. Prrrrrr. And he brushed me and made my back feel better. PRrrr.

Mimi and the YAMAHA keyboard

Mimi: I wuz just trying to see what she wuz duing, but she chased me away. Little colored things all over the bumpy white tabel. And a jar of water. I wuz going to grab a drink but she make me move. So I jumped onto the white and black striped shelf, but it made a noise! It wuz yelling at me. Wuz it saying to get off? I don't know. But it scared me. It kept yelling and growling wen I put my paw down. Where ever I put my pawz, it howled or growled or yelled. It was awful.

Will I stay down off it next time or find a different place to jump? Stay tuned for next episode.

The Talking Box

Gizmo smiles

Gizmo LeGrand: She comed in the door talking to that little blue box thing. There's no peeple in it, I looked. Nothing moving. But I heared peeple voices coming from it. I hav been talking to her sinse she camed home, but she wuz just talking to the box thing. And I heared voices coming out of it. I jumpd up on the table to look at it, but she made me get down. She didn't want to feed us catz but she finly did. Then I told her to giv us treets. And she did. So I gess I had a prety good day, dont you thnk so?

Gizmo's new furniture

Gizmo's new furniture

Gizmo LeGrand: They went out and camed home and it was so big it tuk too of them to carre it into the hous. I knowed right away what it was and I was sooooooo exsited! It goes waaaay up high and it has toys and I ken still scrach it and get treets! I ken sleep on it and play on it. And theres room for Mimi and Squeeky on it too. We ken all get on it together. We love it!

Squeaky speaks again

Mimi's baby picture with Squeaky

I was just remembering Mimi. She iz my baby, even though she duzn't look like me at all. I thout all my kittens had died, but then there wuz Mimi. She just loved me when she wuz a baby. I taut her all about grooming and eating, and we uzed to snuggle a lot.

She iz still my frend, but she izn't a baby anymore. I'm so glad I have her to keep me company.

Gizmo LeGrand tells it like it is.

Gizmo LeGrand: Wuz up? I cn jump up reely hi. My legs, thay are like steel springs. No, seriously, I reely can. And when I strech up on my back lets, I can get stuff off the counters and furniture.
Wait, she just went into the room where our litter boxes are. With the big white trash thing. Uh oh. She shut the door. Something about smelly. I hate when that happns. I cant stand it when a door is shut. I worrie and worrie. I am pacing and trying to bat the door open. Moeoaw! Hurry up.
Oh, whew, all done. Now I have to go chek it out and make sure its ok. And I have to use it first, before the ladys get a chans. Ketch yall later.

Miss Mimi in the room with the soft floor

Miss Mimi: I wuz having a nice day today. I woked up and got brekfast. Then everbody left. It wuz nice. Then he came home, and she came home. And then, then, that human mama came with her kittens. I started to get nervus. The littlest one skares me so much. He wuz pretty good, but then I just cudn't take it. The bigger kitten (can they be the same litter? One is so much bigger than the other one) was sitting and I just had to (hssssss  haaasssssssss) warn him to stay away. And he put his front paw near me and it skared me. I had to show him my claws. Then I got under the big chair thing in the kichn. And when I saw an opening, I ran for the big green chair. Whew! Safety. But then she picked me up and tooked me to the back room so I could sit with him for a while. He was looking at his little black square thing. It has little tiny people inside it. They talk just like regular humans. And they play music and there's even buildings and things inside it. Those humans are littler than mice. Anyhow, the big black square thing was out in the big room with the soft floor. There was moving piktures inside that big box. The kittens sat and stared at it for a long time. I don't get it. Then the mama took her kittens away, outside. I don't know where they go when they go through that door. I hope they didn't have to go to the vet. I don't like it at the vet.

Squeaky

 

Squeeky: I would compleetly happy if they would just stop picking me up. Hey, Gizmo, what are you doing? Get off my back! No, I mean it. Literally. I don't feel like playing right now. I'm bizzy.

Sorry about that. He's so impetuous, our Gizzy is. No, Gizmo, stop it this minute. As I wuz saying, pleeze quit picking me up. I don't like it.

What wuz I saying? Mimi, I am yur mother. I can still put you in your place. Don't believe me? Sorry, I forgot what I wuz saying. Goodnite.

Gizmo Le Grand

Gizmo LeGrand: What iz hazzerd? I just want to make her get up becuz I am hungry. And sometimes making sticks fall on floor gets her up. But then I heared this loud, awful caterwalling sound and I jumped and then something went crash and something else fell and the rug got wet and I hightailed it out of there. and she wuz mad. When she tryed to put rug on yellow branch to dry it fell down. another big crash. Iz she trying to scare me to deth?

Oh, yes, I did finly get fed.

Gizmo Le Grand: She left this wooly thing out just for me. Itz soft and scrachy and it smellz good. It makes me sleepy. I ate. I got treets. Now itz nap time. purrrrrrrr

Miss Mimi: What? And how, exactly, is it your bizness that I am using your plastic hanging thing to brush my teef? What do you mean, don't bite the shower curtn? Why don't you just go to werk alreddy? Leave me alone. 

Gizmo

Gizmo: Did you ever hav a hole day disapeer? I woke up and insted of brekfast, I got stuffed into a cage and then Squeeky got stuffed into a cage. But Squeeky at least got to try to eskape. She put us in the car and off we went. Then we got to the pet doktor place. I don't remember anything after that. Then She came and got us, but it was nite time alreddy. Now I have a place on my leg with no fur. Just nekked skin. And my teeth feel all slippery.

Mimi

Mimi: I waz home alone all day. I found lots of colorful kittens, all over the howse. I brung them to the room with the soft floor. She brung them back where I found them from. She called me yarn theef again. What does that mean?

Gizmo Le Grand

Gizmo: I luvs it when my peeple puts soft fur thing in her lap. I getz up into her lap when itz there. It makes me fall asleep rite away, but sometimes she wakes me up and makes me move. And sometimz itz on the bed and I just snuggle up and fall asleep, but then I have to wake up and move. 

Wait, what's that I hear? Does Mimi have a mouse? I don't see it, but I hear it. No, not the mous. I hear Mimi batting something around the floor. A flash of something shiny. What is it? I have to go find out. Talk to you later.


Mimi: I found it on the table. Itz plastic, and you know how I luvs plastic. Hey, Squeeky, itz mine! 

Squeaky: I has thumbs. Let me have it. Whoa! Where did it go? 

Mimi: Over here. I found it. Itz mine! Peeplz, what do you mean, we're insane? What does that mean?

Squeaky: We waited all morning for peeplz to get up and feed us. Then they went away. We waited for them to come home. It took a long time. I took a nap while I waz waiting. Now I iz happy, I can go get my chin rubbed and maybe one of them will brush my back. 

I was hiding in the metal sink. She couldn't find me. I know she couldn't see me. How do I know? Because she turned a shiny thing and water came out and scared me. I screamed: Meeeooowwww! (Translation: Hey, watch what you're doing there!) Jeesh.

Miss Mimi

Mimi: That Gizmo, he iz a peece of work isn't he? He iz taller than me but iz not cuter. No siree.

And he's worthless when it comz to mouses. I am best mouser in the house. I had mouse the other nite. I caut it and it waz mine. I told everyone it waz mine. But one of peeplz in house, he came with white paper and took from me. Actually, took from Gizmo, who was batting it around place and playing with it. Thanks a lot, Gizmo.

Other two catz, they like food too much. Me, I wait till thay are done eating. No acting like pig at trough for me.

I never had kittens of my own, but other peeplz in house has colorful kittens of all sizez. I keep trying to put them in a nest, but peepl just yells and callz me some weerd thing, soundz like yarn theef. WTF? She isn't taking care of kittenz, why won't she let me take care of colorful kittenz?

And speeking of kittenz, I do not like human kittenz. Human kittenz are loud and scary. They terrify me.

Peeplz all want to pick me up and rub my fur. Soft, soft, they say. I don't like to be picked up, well, not much. I'd much rather sit in a sink or bathtub, where I can chew on the plastic sheet hanging from the ceiling. I don't know why, but that's my favorite place to be. bathtub. sink.

Hey, what's Gizmo doing? I gotz to go see what Gizmo is so excited about. Cach you later.

Gizmo Le Grand

Gizmo: I is smartest kat in houz. I is smarter than girlz. I is also cuter than girlz. 

Want to know what I lives for? I lives to get treets. I knowz how to get peeplez to give them to me. I just be adorable. I rollz over and clawz at scraching post. Peeplez think dat is soooo cute. Dey gives me treetz every time. If dey don't, I go tawk to dem. Mow-wow? I sez.

But is weerd. When I do same ting to big long green chare, peeplez yell at me and sometimez sprayz me with cold wet stuff insted of giving me treetz.

What? What do you meen, I can't spel? Hay, I is just lerning to tipe. Will getz better.

Arn't I beeeyutiful? Gots to run. Litterbox, You know. Later, frendz.